I have always been hesitant to write, talk about, or even explore the topic of relationships. It is something I have no experience with. I have never been involved in that realm of dating, relationships, or romantic involvement. I have never had a girlfriend… and for that reason I am writing this article.
This article is for those who seem to see themselves as deficient, broken, and less than others because God has not yet provided them with the partner that they desire.
I speak about this from experience. I have recently had a time in my life where all of my best friends seem to be getting into relationships. Everyone I see has been getting into that kind of relationship that I so desire. And let me tell you… It hurts. Not that I don’t want my friends getting into relationships, but that I see what they have and I desire it. I rejoice in the fact that God has given them that kind companionship. I pray that God makes their relationship stronger and draws them closer and closer to Himself. But the thing I continue to think is…
Why does it seem to be God is answering everyone’s prayers but mine?
First thing is first. This in NO WAY makes me deficient, broken, or less. That is a blatant lie from the enemy that holds absolutely no truth whatsoever. My identity is firmly rooted win Christ and His work. He has called me loved and whole, and I am now His alone. But the thing that continues to be heavy on my soul is the thought that I am somehow doing something wrong. That there is something in my life that is holding me back from achieving that relationship. Through this thought process, God showed me my wrongness. Not necessarily sin, but my fault in thinking.
There is a reason, but it isn’t something that I have done.
God is still working on my heart. He knows when I need it. Romans 8: 28 says that “and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” God knows what I need. He provides exactly in the timing that is necessary. But the first part of that verse is the most important… “Those who loves God.” God’s provision doesn’t have to do with anything with us. We are called to love the Lord.
Matthew 6:33 says that should “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Psalm 37: 4-5 says: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.”
God continues to promise that he will provide. He DOES NOT go back on His promises.
The thing that I have to deal with the most is how I handle these promises. I often find myself doubting them. My focus shifts from trusting in the Lord to the place that I am currently in. I consider myself lonely simply because I do not have a romantic relationship. Trusting in the Lord is one of the hardest things I have ever done. There are days that I feel like God won’t provide. I’ve felt depressed, broken, and torn. I know the truth, but it is hard to believe it at times. Despite this, one thing is true…
God stays faithful to me.
He stays true. He keeps me close. He gives me strength on the days that I feel like my sin and desires are overwhelming. Though my mind may drift off of Him, he won’t stop pursuing me. He provides.
I didn’t write this article about my future. I didn’t write it about the future girlfriend that I believe God has for me. I wrote it about the faithfulness of the one who provides. The God who loves me through everything, even when the desires of my own heart seem to be crippling. When God doesn’t seem to be answering my prayers, it’s because my prayers sometimes aren’t what it best for me. God is shaping my heart. Molding me into the man He wants me to be.
I will continue to set my eyes on Father. I want to pursue Him until all I desire is Him. My heart longs to be content, and He is the only one who can make it so. And for my friends who relate to my feelings…
You are not broken. You are not faulty. You are not deficient. You are not less. You are so fully loved by a God who cherishes you. He sees the desires of your heart, and He will make you content in Him. Pursue Him beyond anything else.
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.
Psalm 63: 1-4